Look. It’s not my fault. I was lying in bed reading my book and eating pizza (not as nice as doing that in the tub, but nice none the less) when I started to get sleepy and started nodding off. All of the sudden a little leprechaun walked in the bedroom. “Top o the mornin to you” he said. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “A windy day is not the day to be fixing your thatch” he replied. I must have been briefly given the gift of tongues as I understood exactly what he meant. I looked down at my pizza and said to myself, “No, not too much. We still have a long way to go.” So I went to set my pizza on my nightstand, but Boober the Fraggle was there washing his socks. “Don’t put that here!” he said. “You’ll get pizza sauce all over my newly cleaned socks.” “Well what am I supposed to do with it?” I asked. “Maybe I can help” came a voice from behind me. I turned to find a man dressed all in black. He had on black boots, black pants, a black long sleeved shirt that was slightly open towards the neck, black gloves, and a black mask. He had a small moustache and a sword hanging by his side. “You would take my pizza for me?” I asked the stranger. “As you wish” was his only reply. I looked at him for a moment. “Polish my horse’s saddle?” I asked. “As you wish” he said. “Fill these with water? Fetch me that pitcher?” “As you wish, as you wish” he said. “Inconceivable” I uttered to myself. I walked over to the man in black, handed him my half eaten piece of pizza, shook his hand, and told him thank you. The man turned and left. That was the last I ever saw of that pizza. Lepee (the name I had given to the Leprechaun) tugged on my shirt and said, “Tis time to be getting you to sleep”. “Aye” I agreed. I climbed into bed. Lepee pulled the covers up to my chin, softly kissed my forehead (I could feel his beard tickle my nose) and whispered “Codladh samh”. “May the cat eat you, and may the cat be eaten by the devil” I said back. He left the room as quietly and as quickly as he had entered. I was left alone and fell asleep to the soft churning of the water in Boober’s wash basin.
How did that pizza get there? I don’t know. Maybe the man in black ran into some ROUS’s. Maybe he dabbled in a little too much Iocane powder. Or maybe Lepee got really drunk and they got into a fight. All I do know is that I get plenty of sleep and it wasn’t my fault.
Look. It’s not my fault. I was lying in bed reading my book and eating pizza (not as nice as doing that in the tub, but nice none the less) when I started to get sleepy and started nodding off. All of the sudden a little leprechaun walked in the bedroom. “Top o the mornin to you” he said. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “A windy day is not the day to be fixing your thatch” he replied. I must have been briefly given the gift of tongues as I understood exactly what he meant. I looked down at my pizza and said to myself, “No, not too much. We still have a long way to go.” So I went to set my pizza on my nightstand, but Boober the Fraggle was there washing his socks. “Don’t put that here!” he said. “You’ll get pizza sauce all over my newly cleaned socks.” “Well what am I supposed to do with it?” I asked. “Maybe I can help” came a voice from behind me. I turned to find a man dressed all in black. He had on black boots, black pants, a black long sleeved shirt that was slightly open towards the neck, black gloves, and a black mask. He had a small moustache and a sword hanging by his side. “You would take my pizza for me?” I asked the stranger. “As you wish” was his only reply. I looked at him for a moment. “Polish my horse’s saddle?” I asked. “As you wish” he said. “Fill these with water? Fetch me that pitcher?” “As you wish, as you wish” he said. “Inconceivable” I uttered to myself. I walked over to the man in black, handed him my half eaten piece of pizza, shook his hand, and told him thank you. The man turned and left. That was the last I ever saw of that pizza. Lepee (the name I had given to the Leprechaun) tugged on my shirt and said, “Tis time to be getting you to sleep”. “Aye” I agreed. I climbed into bed. Lepee pulled the covers up to my chin, softly kissed my forehead (I could feel his beard tickle my nose) and whispered “Codladh samh”. “May the cat eat you, and may the cat be eaten by the devil” I said back. He left the room as quietly and as quickly as he had entered. I was left alone and fell asleep to the soft churning of the water in Boober’s wash basin.
ReplyDeleteHow did that pizza get there? I don’t know. Maybe the man in black ran into some ROUS’s. Maybe he dabbled in a little too much Iocane powder. Or maybe Lepee got really drunk and they got into a fight. All I do know is that I get plenty of sleep and it wasn’t my fault.
Holy Crap Chad that was both funny and disturbing.
ReplyDeleteGood thing I love you so much.
Double HOLY CRAP! Sad that I understood a lot of that!
ReplyDeleteLove both of you too :)
Wow Chad, you DO need to get more sleep!!! But I enjoyed the laugh this morning!
ReplyDelete